Wow! So it has been a long time since I last posted. Life just got crazy...and I mean crazy. I feel like everything I have ever held onto has been pulled out from under me and I never realized they were things that could be pulled out. Surprise! They can. And now I have had to learn to stand on my own two feet. However, the problem is that I haven't stood on my feet for so long, that all the muscles have atrophied and decayed and I don't even know how to use them any more. It is kind of sad to realize that you don't even know how to use your own feet. To realize that you have relied on someone else pulling your rug along as you wiggled around thinking you were walking when in fact you weren't. You were just wasting energy that could have been used to strengthen your feet. Oh well. What's done is done and now I have had to go through the pain of learning to walk again.
Walking is such an amazing thing that we take so much for granted. Think about it. What is the biggest thing that parents look forward to with their children. What is the first greatest accomplishment? Walking (at least for the purposes of this blog. I'm not a parent so I don't actually know). It is so big that people write it in their baby's journal and their kids ask about it later when they are grown up. But once it happens and we are walking, it becomes second nature and we never really think about it again...until we fall. Then we realize that we haven't perfected the art and we still have more to learn and we still will throughout our whole lives.
I guess it is funny that we ever think that we have it all figured out at different phases in our lives. There is always more to learn and the thing about learning is that it is so invigorating...but so hard too. It takes a lot of effort and work...and a lot of sweat and tears. But it is worth it. The last few months have been the hardest in my life...but I also have never felt more alive. I guess we really have to feel the full range of emotions to truly appreciate each one. You can't really know joy without pain. Happiness without sadness. Peace without anger. I believe that we are designed to feel the full range of human emotion. I think sometimes we are taught that we need to be happy and at peace and those are the only emotions that God wants us to feel. But I think that we are designed to feel them all in this life and in the life to come. No human emotion is bad or wrong. What we do with it is what matters.
Walking is such an amazing thing that we take so much for granted. Think about it. What is the biggest thing that parents look forward to with their children. What is the first greatest accomplishment? Walking (at least for the purposes of this blog. I'm not a parent so I don't actually know). It is so big that people write it in their baby's journal and their kids ask about it later when they are grown up. But once it happens and we are walking, it becomes second nature and we never really think about it again...until we fall. Then we realize that we haven't perfected the art and we still have more to learn and we still will throughout our whole lives.
I guess it is funny that we ever think that we have it all figured out at different phases in our lives. There is always more to learn and the thing about learning is that it is so invigorating...but so hard too. It takes a lot of effort and work...and a lot of sweat and tears. But it is worth it. The last few months have been the hardest in my life...but I also have never felt more alive. I guess we really have to feel the full range of emotions to truly appreciate each one. You can't really know joy without pain. Happiness without sadness. Peace without anger. I believe that we are designed to feel the full range of human emotion. I think sometimes we are taught that we need to be happy and at peace and those are the only emotions that God wants us to feel. But I think that we are designed to feel them all in this life and in the life to come. No human emotion is bad or wrong. What we do with it is what matters.
I started reading this book. It is a fantasy book about wizards and magic and stuff. And it brought up a concept that I thought defined life and the things that happen in it really well. It was talking about magic that was in some boxes that an evil magician had gotten a hold of. Another wizard is telling some others about the power in the boxes and he states that the magic in the boxes is neither good nor evil...it simply is. It is a tool that can be used and manipulated by the user. If the user chooses to use it for good, then it is good. If the user chooses to use it for evil, then it is evil. The magic itself just exists.
I guess I really liked the lesson there for my life. Life happens. Things happen. and that is just the way it is. It is up to the user to determine if it is good or evil. We can take life and make it something wonderful and we can take the things that happen in it and use them for good or we can make life something miserable and awful to bear for ourselves and others. Either way we choose, life will still happen. It will still be out of our control. No matter how hard we fight to control it...we will never be able to. The only power we have is what we do with what happens and what we make of it and learn from it. That has been a hard lesson for me to learn. And it has caused me and those I love a lot of grief, and, stress, and hurt. But we can't control life. It is probably good that we can't. I'm sure this world would be a huge mess if we could. :) But we can control what we do with it and how we interact with it. I guess that is where I am at. I can no longer try to control the things that happen in this life. I can only control what I do with what happens. And try my best to make my life and myself better.
is this tricia that keeps up with this blog or tim. if tricia i hope all is well with you and i miss you!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou guys, I hope you are ok! Me and Parley sure miss you and hanging out with you. It sounds like you have gone through some hard times. Know that we are here for you, even though we don't live close anymore. I hope all is going well for you. Let me know if you need anything!
ReplyDeleteHi guys (like Desi I dont know which one of you wrote that)...I miss you both though!
ReplyDeleteIve been hearing some various rumors of whats been going on, but dont really know at all, however, I have been thinking about you both a LOT and praying for you! Hope things are good/better, and again I miss you guys and would like to start keeping in touch better ok?
Love you!